Answer Spam Part 3

My post on Starbucks seems to have generated the most spam comments, I’m assuming they used a keyword search.

I was just browsing for relevant blog posts for my project research and I happened to stumble upon yours. Thanks for the useful information!

You’re doing a project on Starbucks and you found my snarky post to be useful?  Good luck with the fact checking on that.

I’m always looking for new coffee resources. Thanks for the information.

New coffee resources?  Starbucks is new to you?  What planet are you visiting from?

I very much take pleasure in chilling out at Starbucks or bringing my notebook there to get some homework or work done. The cool jazz in the surroundings makes it easy to unwind and focus. And a tasty caramel macchiato makes it that much more enjoyable.

I’m going to take a wild guess here – you work in the marketing department for Starbucks?

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I never dreamed I’d become such on authority on Starbucks, based on one blog post.  PS – if this is typical of your writing, I’m predicting you will fail this class.

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Actually, you can thank WordPress.  This layout is right out of the box.

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I’m a huge admirer of your incredibly mangled writing.  Please don’t inspire every human being to bookmark my site – it can’t handle that kind of traffic.

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Don’t study it too closely.  It may rot your brain.

Hi this post is funny and good. Can you comment me any related articles?

The only related articles are in my head.  I don’t like to comment people my brain.

What a great review! I wanted to get one immediately after reading your review. You mentioned that Safety 1st sent you two Complete Air Convertible Car Seats with Air Protect at no charge, to try out and keep; I was wondering how can I get one to try out as well? Can you provide advise and insights? Thank you!

No, I didn’t mention that.  What the hell blog were you reading?

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I look forward to you being available back again.

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All peoples agree together on my blog?  I am honored.

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I hope you didn’t hurt yourself when you stumbled upon my blog.  I’d hate to get sued.

Answer Spam Part 2

My responses to more spam comments.

We just couldnt leave your website before saying that I really loved the top quality info you provide to your visitors? Will be back again soon to check up on new posts

I eagerly anticipate your return.

good to be visiting your web site again, it has been weeks for me. I need this article to complete my assignment in the college, and it is the same topic. Thanks, Fantastic share!

You have a college assignment about flying to Miami to see the Indy Car season finale?  What a crazy coincidence!  Glad I could help.

Well, Phoenix is absolutely a good and wonderful place to settle in..!!Phoenix has a lot to offer to the vacationers and people in the place.There are many awesome and affordable homes in Phoenix.

That’s really spooky, it almost seems like you actually read my post (Home Away From Home).  Wait, I bet you used a key word search to find posts mentioning Phoenix.  Sneaky devil.

I think this is wonderful I truly appreciate the informations shared in this post I am going to bookmark this!

You know how I love to share informations.  Bookmark away!

You mention such a great things here and it is always pleassure to read. Hope to hear more and learn from you.

It’s a pleassure to be read.

You essentially make seriously articles I would say. This is the first time I visited your webpage and so far I?m impressed with the research you made to make this post amazing. Great Job!

The really amazing part is that I essentially make seriously articles by doing research almost exclusively inside my own head.  It does make fact checking a real bitch.

Nice.. thank yiu for information

Thank yiu for reading.  Can’t say much about the spelling.

This is a really good read for me, Must admit that you are one of the best bloggers I ever saw.Thanks for posting this informative article.

One of the best bloggers?  You must not spend much time on the internet.

Hello all cameras men, ok thence i require to purchase a digital SLR camera that can shoot TV. My two picks are the Nikon D90 or the Canon EOS Rebel T1i. Which of the two would be the better steal studying all the characteristics each photographic camera arrests?

I prefer not to steal any camera gear, lest I get arrested. (go with Canon)

Cornelius is the greatest!?

I don’t know Cornelius, but with a name like that, I doubt he’s the greatest at anything.

Hey thanks for fresh stuff here! By the way I wanted to ask about material. From where are you getting these ideas?

From inside my own twisted mind.  That way no one can steal my material

“Fame, like a wayward girl, will still be coy To those who woo her with too slavish knees.”

Okay, that’s just weird.

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Wow, you’re a real suck-up.  Glad you think my internet is wonderful.

I fully support all efforts to conserve, reuse and recycle – and it should be something that the whole nation should be doing – NOW!

That’s nice.  Start your own damn blog about it and get off of mine.

Once I thought about things like: why such information is for free here? Because when you write a book then at least on selling a book you get a percentage. Thank you and good luck on informing people more about it!

I’m pretty sure no one would pay me to write a book about this crap.  Only my mother would buy a copy.

Hi, Thanks for the great code. What am trying to do is I am trying to use this gridview in master/details application. I have created 2 tabs in the first tab i see master table fields and in the second tab am trying to setup this gridview with add/edit/delete functionality. I am already done with majority of the task but am getting the following error while at design time: Cannot implicitly convert type ‘void’ to ‘object’ AND at runtime am getting: CS1525: Invalid expression term ‘)’. I can surely help with the code if needed.

I didn’t understand any of that.

This was a really quality post. In theory I’d like to write like this too – taking time and real effort to make a good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate alot and never seem to get something done.

Tell it to your shrink.

Answer Spam Part 1

Since we’ll be driving back to Phoenix on Sunday and Monday, I thought I’d queue up a couple more Spam commentary posts to keep you amused while I’m offline.  I put the Spam in italics for clarity, but really it’s not necessary because if I started writing like they do, you would be sending men in white coats to pick me up.

This really is such a amazing resource that you’re offering and also you give it away for free of charge. I enjoy seeing websites that understand the worth of delivering a prime resource for zero cost. I really loved reading your post. Thanks!

No, thank you for sucking up to me.  It feeds my voracious ego.

Most people give up just when they’re about to achieve success.

Wow, how profound.  Not sure how that relates to my blog, but thanks for the insight.

i’m making use of oprea web-browser

It might work better if you knew how to spell it correctly.

I can see that you are an expert at your field! I am launching a website soon, and your information will be very useful for me.. Thanks for all your help and wishing you all the success in your business.

Glad to know that my aimless rambling is useful to you.  Could you please tell me what field you think I’m in?

my favorite game is Homefront ,what is your favorite game?. I own a Xbox 360 Consolas.

I don’t waste my time playing mindless computer games.  I waste it writing blog posts.

Finally something fresh and new that make sense! I would like to see more about this and that is what I’m going to do.

Oh please, tell me what you’re going to do.  The suspense is killing me.

Such a great article. Thanks a lot for sharing those post. I will of course check it out.

Great!  Let me know what you think after you check “it” out, whatever “it” is.



Thats a genuinely fine article with required Facts. Thanks for your guide.

Glad to know I included required Facts in my random thoughts.  Please return my guide when you finish with it.

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Thnaks to you too!

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Awww.  You made me blush.

This really is such a amazing resource that you’re offering and also you give it away for free of charge. I enjoy seeing websites that understand the worth of delivering a prime resource for zero cost. I really loved reading your post. Thanks!

A prime resource?  Now I’m really blushing.

I would like to see something more about this. You captured my attention and hope I will see more from you here.

Oh, you’ll see plenty more about this.

Hi! Is it alright if I go a bit off topic? I am trying to read your site on my iPhone but it doesn’t display properly, do you have any suggestions? You can always email me at Thank you for the help I hope! Angel

Funny, it works on my iPhone.  Must be user error.  I can’t really help you with that.

Hi there! Is it alright that I go a bit off topic? I am trying to view your website on my iPad but it doesn’t display properly, do you have any suggestions? Thanks for the help I hope!

Maybe you should talk to Angel.  You seem to have a lot in common.

Hey! Is it okay that I go a bit off topic? I am trying to read your website on my iPod Touch but it doesn’t display properly, any suggestions? You can always email me at Thanks for the help I hope! Rosario

Could you people at least write some unique text when you’re fishing for my email address?

You got a surely useful blog I be experiencing been here reading exchange for upon an hour. I am a newbie and your ascendancy is profoundly much an ardour for me.

Wow, you’re the second person who finds my ascendancy profoundly much an ardour.  I hope it’s not anything contagious.


My blog spam took a new turn for the bizarre a few months ago.  I started getting comments in Russian, Cyrillic alphabet and all.  So, just for fun, I’ve tried translating some of them online.  Here are a few examples with my responses:

Original version:  Отличная статья! большое спасибо автору за интересный материал. Удачи в развитии!!!

Translation: Excellent Article!  Thank you very much the author for the interesting material. Good luck in development!!!

I would be flattered if I was naive enough to think you actually read what I wrote.  Nice try though.

Original version: Кстати я нашел это видео и весь день ржал )) для сайта

Translation: By the way I found this video and all day ржал)) for the site

Wow, you found a video for my site, how nice.  Too bad I don’t use video and I’m not stupid enough to click on your link.  (Apparently ржал doesn’t translate well.  Probably a naughty word anyway.)

Original version:  Здравствуйте У меня есть проблема. У меня сайт учебной тематики про Рефераты и я хочу создать блог где будут собиратся новости с других блогов по рсс ленте.  Вопрос – можно ли я буду брать у вас новости 1-3 в неделю если они новые. ? Аудитория будущего блога люди 13-22 лет.

Translation: Good day from me there is a problem. I have web-site training of about referats and I want a блог where will собиратся news from other: the CCF tape. Question: Can I shall take you News 1-3 in a week if they are new. ? Audience future disk people 13-22 years.

I’m sorry you have a problem.  Unfortunately I don’t know what referats are and my online translator crapped out on блог and собиратся, so I’m afraid I can’t really help you.  Maybe you should try writing in English next time, since you must know it if you’re reading my blog.

Original version: Я не нашла гостевой поэтому пишу тут. Какой толк от регистрации у вас если можно писать комментарии сразу на новости ?

Translation: I have not been guest therefore write here. What is of registration for you if you could write comments immediately on news?

Hmm, I’m going to take a wild guess here and assume that you’re asking what it takes to get comments posted.  It takes a human being actually reading what I wrote and making a legitimate comment on it.  Pretty simple really.  Oh, did I mention the comment needs to be written in English?

Original version: У вас только 1 сайт – “” и все ?

Translation: You have only 1 site – “justjacque. about and all?

Yes, just the one site.  I’m not a robot and I’m not trying to make money doing this.

Original version:  Привет. Скажите пожалуйста как сделать так что на главной была короткая запись а не полный анонс статьи. Вот у вас я смотрел на главной лишь часть статьи а у меня она полная и читать неудобно.

Translation: Hello. Please tell me how to make that the main was short record rather than full Annensky, Innokenty article. That is you I looked at the main only part of the article and for me it full and read inconvenient.

Not familiar with Annensky, Innokenty article but it sounds like you’re complaining that you can’t see a full post.  Too bad you’re not a real person and I don’t help spambots.

Original version: Хотелось бы читать ГРАМОТНЫЙ текст! В словарях, например, пишется «ЕДИНИЦА». Слегка омерзительно читать тексты с подобными ошибками!

Translation: Would like to read literate text! In a dictionary, for example, goes «единица». Slightly омерзительно read texts with such errors!

Are you implying that my text is not literate?  How nice that your dictionary goes «единица», mine doesn’t.  I don’t know from омерзительно, but my read texts are without errors.

Original version: Красивый сайт мне понравился !

Translation: Beautiful site I liked!

Now that’s better.  At least your BS is polite.  Thanks!

And finally, one post in German (translated version only):

Hey, I found your site is at Yahoo. You really a class web site, will be the one or other times dropping here! Your Posts are also real top! Love Gruss

Why thanks, Gruss.  I look forward to you one or other times dropping here.

Happy Birthday Mom!

Today is my mom’s birthday.  Everybody say, “Happy Birthday Mom!”  Mom thanks you.  I’d ask you to sing, but I’m pretty sure most of you have lousy voices.  It’s not a milestone birthday, that comes next year when my mom turns 70.  Wow, that makes me feel old.  Now, I know what you’re thinking – it’s rude to put my mom’s age out on the internet.  But really, she gets a big kick out of telling everyone she’s almost 70.  So I figure it’s okay for me to put it out there for my tiny blog audience.  Since our little trip back to Minnesota conveniently overlapped her birthday, I took my mom out to lunch today.  Actually I would have done that anyway, but it was nice to get some birthday points for it.  I found a really funny card back in August, when I was looking for a birthday card for my brother and I set it aside for my mom.  The cover has a cartoon of a woman sitting in a bathtub drinking a glass of wine with a comment about getting over the stress of another birthday by taking a hot bath and having a glass of wine.  The inside reads “Of course if that doesn’t work you’ll just be a drunk old broad with really wrinkly feet.”  My mom found it hilarious, which pretty much tells you everything you need to know about her sense of humor.

Mom doesn’t really like getting “stuff” for gifts anymore.  Meaning pretty but not useful things like jewelry.  Spending time with her is the best gift, so in the past I’ve taken her to shows when there was something good in town.  We’ve seen 4 different Cirque Du Soleil shows, Bare Naked Ladies, Blue Man Group and Tap Dogs.  Lunch and the card would have been more than enough, but I also bought her a Stomp DVD and The Complete Sussman Lawrence CD.  She knew Peter Himmelman back in her theater days (she acted in a play with his girlfriend) so she got a big kick out of that.  We also shopped for her Christmas present – a new pair of red eyeglasses from Costco.  The frames are a lower end version of some crazy expensive handmade in Paris ones that I have.  (The pair with lenses at Costco were half of what I paid for just frames)  She’s been having trouble with her contacts lately, so she has been wearing glasses exclusively for the past few weeks.  It’s a difficult adjustment after wearing contacts for over 45 years.  But  nothing will brighten your attitude like an awesome pair of glasses (don’t ask how many I have) so it seemed like a good reason to get her a new pair.  Plus it knocks another Christmas gift off my list (halfway done there).

It was a fun and relaxing day.  Happy birthday, Mom!

I Hate Cold Weather

Oh the insanity!  After nearly 3 weeks of sunshine and temperatures in the 70’s and 80’s, we drove back to Minnesota.  This wasn’t some mad impulse.  We realized as we were packing to drive down at the end of October that it wasn’t going to be possible to fit everything we wanted to bring in the car.  So instead of stressing out about it and trying to make arbitrary decisions about what was absolutely essential and what wasn’t, we just decided that we would make another trip (in our larger, Phoenix based vehicle – a Nissan Xterra).  Most of this stems from our decision to spend the majority of the next 6 months in what was intended to be a “vacation” home.  So now all of the camera gear needs to be there, along with a lot of reading material, additional clothing, a good supply of wine, etc.  Plus we have a really nice Oriental rug that we don’t have room for in our Minnesota house.  Now that we’re putting hardwood floors down in Phoenix, I realized it would look great there.  And so it goes…

It gave us some time in Phoenix to think about what else we might need or want there.  It seemed like every few days something else would occur to me, so I would just jot it down.  Of course I have to be careful not to get too ambitious about what we can fit on this trip, lest I put myself back in the same situation.  We had commitments in Phoenix through the 16th, so we planned our departure for early morning on the 17th.  We were on the road pretty close to 6:30 AM and put in over 18 1/2 hours the first day.  Our GPS wanted us to take the northern route, through Colorado, so we ignored it and kept heading east on 40 out of Albuquerque.  Usually it will adjust fairly quickly once it realizes you have deviated from the originally suggested route, but for some reason it was incredibly persistent in trying to make us exit and start heading north toward Santa Fe.  Which is irritating because the voice keeps interrupting your music while it calmly tells you over and over to take the next exit and then the next one.  It’s also puzzling, because the time and mileage difference between going east then north vs. north then east is trivial.  So we shut it off and re-entered the destination, hoping it would choose a new route based on our having long passed the turn north.

And it finally did, but not exactly the one we expected.  The simple way is to stay on 40 until it hits 35, which is not the most direct path but it keeps you on the interstate.  I always operated on the assumption that it was better to stay on the interstate, unless it added a lot of extra miles to your route.  The speed limits are higher and you get two lanes, so passing is theoretically easier.  It turns out you can cut out 110 miles by taking a state highway from Tucumcari, NM to Wichita instead of staying on the interstate.  Who knew?  A lot of truckers, apparently, since that is most of the traffic we saw along the route.  We saved time and enjoyed some different scenery.  Plus had the added bonus of seeing a coyote cross the highway and the biggest raptor I have ever seen (excluding a bald eagle) sitting on the shoulder.  He didn’t even flinch when we drove by.  The only down side was a general lack of services along the way, but if you have a big gas tank and plenty of food in the car, it’s a great way to go.

Take Two

After completing the 6+ hour task of converting my MIM photos to JPEG format, I started going through them on Wednesday.  And I quickly came to the conclusion that most of them will be unusable.  Why?  The depth of field was too shallow, so items in the front or back of every exhibit are out of focus.  It’s a pretty rookie mistake actually, so I was kicking myself when I realized it.  Most of our day on Wednesday was dedicated to having our floors measured for hardwood and then picking up all of the material needed for the installation, which took two trips in the Xterra.  So that day was out for a re-shoot.  Ironically, I was back in the museum on Thursday, but it was to give a “short” tour to a friend and his wife, so photography was not on the agenda.  We walked them around for almost two hours and they quickly realized that a more comprehensive tour with the audio equipment would take the better part of a day.  No matter how hard I try to describe the museum to people, they always underestimate the size and scope of the place until they are actually there.  It really does take a minimum of four hours to tour, even if you skim over a lot of the exhibits.

So I ran back on Friday afternoon and tried to re-shoot the exhibits in the Geo Galleries.  At least I had a pretty good idea of what worked well in photos, so I didn’t have to do everything over.  Unfortunately the Artist Gallery and Experience Gallery were way too busy for me to get any decent photos.  I’ve spent most of yesterday and today processing and uploading the images.  I have enough to get started, so I’m feeling slightly less freaked out.  I know I’ll have to take more photos to finish it, but hopefully I can be pretty targeted about what I need to shoot.  I did get some good detail shots from my first photo shoot.  Here are a few I’m planning to use.

Big Photo Project Alert

I limped up to the MIM ( this morning to get started on my next big photo project.  Fortunately it’s still sandal weather in Phoenix so I wasn’t forced to shove my purple foot into a closed shoe.  (I’m totally exaggerating for effect here, my foot’s not that bad.  In fact, I’m a little disappointed the bruise isn’t bigger)  When the MIM opened back in April, I took a buttload of photos (1000, in case you’re wondering how big a buttload is) and put together a photo book for my Dad to commemorate the occasion.  It was a pretty big hit with him.  I think it would be fair to say it’s the best present I’ve ever given him, as he asked for two additional copies.  I was feeling pretty impressed with myself, since it was the first photo book I’ve ever done.  I’ve put together tons of albums, but never a book.  Honestly, a good photo book makes a photo album look like a kindergarten project.

The first book was focused on the opening events, so it featured a lot of photos of family and friends with a smattering of museum spaces and exhibits.  Taken completely haphazardly as things appealed to me, which is largely my photographic style.  So now I’m taking on the bigger task of doing a more comprehensive book on the entire museum.  Which means I need to photograph every exhibit, every public space, most of the back of house spaces plus detail shots of random things that look cool.  I was there for about 3 hours today and I took 789 photos, which is a new single day record for me.  And I didn’t get to any of the back of house spaces.  Crap.

I’ve been converting the RAW files to JPEG for over 2 hours now and I’m not even close to half way through.  Double crap.  This is going to be a monumental task.  The museum is an amazing place and I really want this book to reflect that.  But I do have a deadline.  This will be my Dad’s main Christmas present and we are celebrating at his house on December 17th.  So I have to have this puppy finished by the beginning of December to make sure it gets produced in time.

So I guess I know what I’m going to be doing for the next 3 weeks.

This is one of my favorite photos from April.  It’s the Martin Guitar exhibit.

OUCH (not for the squeamish)

I am a complete and total spaz.  Our bedroom dresser has an awesome feature – the top three drawers all have velvet covered inserts that lift out.  This makes it perfect for storing jewelry and I have way too much freakin’ jewelry.  It’s a completely awesome dresser in all other respects, but this little extra put it over the top for me.  I had to have it immediately, so we bought the floor model at the furniture store.  The two side drawers have small inserts that slide back and forth, so it’s relatively easy to get to the stuff underneath.  The insert in the center drawer is enormous  (24″ x 12″) and it needs to be lifted out in order to get to anything underneath.  (Yes, there is more jewelry underneath, did you really need to ask?)  I was hunting for something in the bottom of the drawer and instead of lifting the section out and setting it on top of the dresser, which is the sane and rational thing to do, I cheated by balancing it on the front of the drawer.

Do you need to ask what happened?  Of course as I was reaching for the desired item, I lost my grip on the insert and it fell to the floor.  Did I mention that the insert is made of wood and weighs just under 8 pounds?  (Yes, I put it on the dam scale)  So of course it didn’t just drop to the floor, it landed on my foot.  Specifically on the bone in my foot that connects to my big toe.  I now know what people mean when they talk about seeing stars.  My whole field of vision went white for a split second.  Then I was pretty much laying on the floor in agony while trying to pick up all of the jewelry that went flying.  I have a pretty high tolerance for pain but I don’t really like to test it out too often.

My propensity for self injury has become rather legendary over the years.  I have some pretty wicked scars on my left elbow and knee from the infamous scooter accident of ‘o3.  The best part was trying to mop up the blood and get ready for the cab that was coming to take us to the airport in 45 minutes.  (Leaving Phoenix to return to Minneapolis)  Nothing like flying with blood oozing through your shirt.  And of course there was the butter knife incident in ’95.  I wasn’t aware it was actually possible to cut your finger with a butter knife.  That was a serious amount of blood.  My then boyfriend (now husband) made me the cutest little finger splint so I could type without it hurting.

But I think one of the worst incidents was in ’06 when I took off most of the tip of my right middle finger in St. Goar, Germany.  We were checking out of our hotel and hauling heavy bags down a staircase and through the exterior door.  The  door was notorious for sticking so my husband told me not to shut it.  Of course I did it anyway and caught my finger between the door and the jamb.  It really made holding my camera awkward for the rest of the trip.  I was a little afraid I would end up with an ugly bump at the end of my finger when it finally healed, but it turned out there was so little flesh left connected that eventually the whole piece came off.  At that point the skin underneath had healed, so you can’t even tell I injured it.  Apparently fingers are pretty resilient.

Ironically, I’ve never broken any bones and I’ve only had stitches because of some minor surgery.  Although I probably could have used them on a few other occasions.  This history of self injury goes back pretty far.  There was an incident with a lamp post when I was 5, one with a pine tree when I was 8 (my most impressive scar) and one with a folding lawn chair when I was 10.  The first two involved climbing and losing my grip and the last one was a furniture jumping thing.  Point being, I didn’t get crazy stupid impulsive recently, it’s an inherent personality flaw.  Hopefully I’ll settle down a little before I get to an age where I have a high probability of breaking bones.

In the meantime I’ll just enjoy watching my foot turn pretty colors.

Jerome at a Macro Level

I am totally milking this trip to Jerome for blog fodder.  I figure it’s a lot more interesting than writing about picking out hardwood floor or ordering a sleeper sofa.  (Two of our accomplishments over the past week)  Since I was using a macro lens in Jerome, I thought I would look for some opportunities to use that functionality.

Flowers are a favorite subject matter for macro photography.  Jerome in November is not exactly lush with flora, but I did find a few flowers, first on a small sunflower plant.  Between the wind and the direction of the sunlight, I wasn’t able to get a good image of one of the open flowers, but I did get this one nice shot of a closed bud.  I also found a yellow rose bush.  Again, the wind made it nearly impossible to get a lot of good shots (shooting macro outside on a windy day can be extremely frustrating).  But I did get a few nice images, including this one on the right.  Definitely worth the effort.

Of course I didn’t want to stop with just the obvious subject matter, so I tried looking for interesting patterns and was rewarded with these.

Both images are from a rusty old gas pump that sits outside of a store.  I took some conventional photos of the pump and the big rusty gear wheel that sits next to it (Jerome is full of old mining remnants like that).  They turned out fine but when I looked more closely at the pump I saw that the rusting surface had a great abstract art quality to it.  The bit of yellow in the photo at left is a small bit of paint that is still clinging tenaciously to the pump.  I’m not sure which image I like better, what do you think?