Pantless and Speechless

I pre-ordered and paid for a pair of travel pants on June 1st. They were originally supposed to ship in August, then the date slid to September. Then I received an email in late September, apologizing profusely that the ship date was now out to the end of October. To make up for the inconvenience, they offered to ship a free top or a $50 gift certificate along with the pants.

On November 1st I received another email informing me that the inventory was due in their warehouse within a few days and providing me with a link to pick out my free top. So I picked that out and waited. The weekend after Thanksgiving I realized I still hadn’t received my order or a ship notification for it, so I sent an email to their customer service department.

A day later I received a response that my order should have shipped by now and that they would look into it. I waited another week with no response. So I emailed them again on Monday. This time they responded within hours, only to tell me that they were short shipped on the size and color (blue) I ordered and would I instead like to have Ginger (baby poop) or Red (period blood)? Or I could pick out any other pant from their website instead.

The only problem is that every other pant they offer is skinny legged and not really appropriate for my big ass thighs and calves. So I promptly responded that I wanted a refund and to be removed from their mailing list. Their tepid response – “We are very sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused.” You mean like keeping my money for six months, stringing me along with promises and delays and then not being able to ship what I ordered?

The whole event left me enraged. I composed endless flaming emails in my head, cursing their shitty customer service and predicting they would be out of business within six months. Then I realized I was blowing the whole thing out of proportion as a way of channeling my fear and anger over our house estimate. The stupid pants were overpriced and wouldn’t fit me until I lost some of the stress weight I’ve gained over the last year anyway.

So I didn’t send the email. Maybe, after I’ve calmed down, I’ll send a more constructive one detailing my disappointment and explaining how it was an incredible customer service fail on their part. Or maybe I won’t. Today I’m featuring the last of my dahlia images from October, because dahlias make everything better.

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